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Life experiences from a fruitcake


May 21st, 2008

(no subject) @ 06:45 pm

Current Music: Sandi Thom

So during finals everyone’s worry wrinkle, you know, the one in between your eye brows, never leaves their face. It’s there basically 24/7, even during sleep, where you’re actually not sleeping but rather running through definition after definition or thinking of crazy hypos that only law professors would throw on their tests (and then they laugh out loud when they see our “oh shit” faces as we read the essay question). This super serious environment causes everyone to become pessimistic and angry. Some people may succeed with this negative environment, I however tend to not perform as well.

Therefore, I took the initiative to lighten the mood a bit. For each final, I wore the professor’s signature outfit. The first final was contracts. I convinced Keesha to wear a red undershirt and blue button down to the final with me. Everyone in the class chuckled when our professor came in with a red undershirt and blue button down… WE ALL MATCHED!!! I did it for the rest of our teachers as well. Although, when it came to torts, I had the blazer, new balances and tucked in collar shirt, but I couldn’t complete the entire look … I couldn’t go braless… oh well… It was still quite a hoot!

Word of the Day: chichi - affectedly trendy

Ghetto Word of the Day: nut huggers - really tight jeans worn by a man 
 

March 27th, 2008

(no subject) @ 01:28 pm

Over Easter weekend, my sister and I managed to bust some moves down a few store aisles. It was like an episode of Soul Train … except there was only 2 of us… and there was a lack of cameras…

Believe it or not, I have a perfectly good reason for this dance routine I always perform in stores. Actually, it’s more of a dream…a hope…an inspiration! One day I hope to start dancing down a grocery store aisle and the middle aged woman next to me, price comparing brands of potato chips, looks over, puts down the bag of chips, and begins dancing with me. At the same time, the teenage kid cleaning up the spill in aisle three notices as well and joins the fun. Soon more and more people join!! We are in a V-formation dancing down the aisles, with me in the front, leading the way.
Pretty much, I want my life to turn into a musical….what a fabulous, fetched out day that would be!

I told Shannon of my musical dreams and she replied “ummm…yeah….I don’t think so…” No worries, I won’t let anyone move me away from these inspirations of mine. I will continue to dance down aisle after aisle. One day it will happen…I can feel it!


Real Word of the Day:
conurbation- an aggregation or continuous network of urban communities

Ghetto Word of the Day:
Lawyer Ball - the art of playing the rules instead of playing a game.
 

March 9th, 2008

the best song ever @ 08:20 pm

Whenever Sheryl Crow's song "Love is Free" plays on my ipod, the library, snow, clouds, and books disappear into thin air. Instead, the sun is shining, the sky is a crystal clear blue, and I am driving down a back road with the top down on my pink convertable. It's the little things that take you away for a minute or two and give you a warm, happy feeling for the rest of the day.

Word of the day: gewgaw - noun, a showy trifle; a trinket; a bauble

Ghetto word of the day: make it rain - when you're in da club with a stack, and you throw the money up in the air at the strippers. The effect is that it seems to be raining money.
 

February 14th, 2008

V-Day @ 10:51 pm

Current Location: your mom's tub
Current Music: The Cupid Shuffle

Today is obviously Valentine's day. Although I would not call myself a V-day cynic, I am pretty critical of this holiday of love.
I do enjoy passing out disney princess valentines and eating exuberant amounts of conversation hearts. However, when it comes to the rest of v-day, I'm not as enthusiastic. I look around and see too many people who obsess with where they're going and what they're getting and less on who they are spending it with. Instead of recieving a card just because it's v-day and part of a custom, I would rather my man give me a card because I had a bad day or because it's just some random Tuesday in April.
Lastly, it makes me a tad angry that everyone utilizes oodles upon oodles of glitter and pinkness for one day out of the year. Since I use these items 365 days per year, I feel the one day users are such posers! I mean,come on, they can't expect to domiate glitter by using it one time out of the year, just don't and leave it to professionals like me! ;)

Alright, I'm done ranting now...

Word of the day:
prolix (adj) - Extending to a great length; unnecessarily long; wordy.

Ghetto Word of the Day:
bunched - To be upset, or angry and to have one's panties in a bunch.
 

February 2nd, 2008

A few of my favorite things... @ 09:48 pm

Current Location: your mom's garage
Current Music: Warrant: Cherry Pie

* American Gladiator training with Shannon
* coloring books
* Findlay Fridays
* hugs
* Maui Mint Melon gum
* diet coke and vanilla vodka
* pink
* the Stillers/ the NFL in general
* karaoke
* PF Chang's gluten free menu
* shopping
* Pepsi Max
* dancing to 90's pop
* the sun
* not studying

Ghetto word of the day: ACB - Mnemonic device for "Air Conditioner Booty": a woman whose buttocks, when viewed from the side, resemble a wall-unit air conditioner protruding from a house.

Word of the Day: gadabout - one who roams about in search of amusement or social activity
 

January 4th, 2008

The dirty south @ 08:08 pm

Current Music: Taylor Swift

My delightful escape from law school is quickly coming to an end. Even though I have told it to slow down, it has not listened to me at all…as Stephanie Tanner would say “How Rude!!” This break has been all I had expected it to be and more: my sister and I replayed soulja boy 20 times in a row and broke it down, I watched countless episodes of Housewives of Orange County, I caught up with friends, and I partied it up with my SCAJJeRs on NYE…

As I was home I realized how much I heart the south....
I miss the fact that in the south:
~the sun peeks through the clouds more than once a week
~you see trees rather than cornfields while traveling
~people call complete strangers “sugar” and “sweetheart”
~you smile and nod when passing another
~grits are never instant and everything is made with butter

I love the south but I did enjoy being back in my cozy apartment, in my 5 foot tall bed....

Word of the day:
prevaricate – verb (used without object), to speak falsely or misleadingly; deliberately misstate or create an incorrect impression; lie.

ghetto word of the day:
vajority - The majority of women
 

December 17th, 2007

Thanksgiving 2007 @ 07:00 am

Current Location: your mom's couch
Current Music: 90's pop

I finally have time to write, so I’m going to bring it back a few weeks (pretend it’s Thanksgiving time)

Every Thanksgiving, my family will have the typical Thanksgiving conversations - work, movies, school, weather, etc… - however, these seemingly normal conversations never last and something inappropriate becomes the topic of discussion. Keep in mind that my grandparents are your traditional, non-drinking southerners, which makes these discussions even better!!
This year, our conversation remained family like throughout the entire dinner and then came dessert… Jason informed us he had watched a documentary (one can already tell that this conversation is about to go down hill) about these men from PETA who ended up working at a turkey factory where they prepare turkeys to be put on shelves in supermarkets. These men were caught doing the dirty to dead turkeys. We then asked him a series of questions; my grandma even chimed in a couple of times. When she left the table, my mom asked how/where did they abuse the turkeys. On that note, my dear cousin mimed the whole ordeal. My mother felt quite excited that she ate the turkey leg; I, on the other hand, wished I had heard the story earlier or not at all…

Word of the day: quixotic – adjective - extravagantly chivalrous or romantic; visionary, impractical, or impracticable - impulsive and often rashly unpredictable

Ghetto Word of the Day: one-upper - one who always has to be bigger or better than you. If your uncle has 20 ft. boat, his uncle or cousin has 21 ft. boat. A one-upper never loses in the world of story-telling.
 

September 1st, 2007

YAY LAW SCHOOL!!! @ 10:03 pm

Law professors teach through the Socratic Method, which means they fire question after question at you until your head is spinning and you are a second away from peeing in your pants.

On that note, Wednesday, I wore a light pink polo, matching pink shoes, and a matching headband. The professor scanned the room, searching for his victim of the day. His eyes landed on me and a smirk crept upon his face. “Ms. Sxxxxxxx, you will be in the hot seat today.” The fifty minute class lasted 10 hours in my mind. He would ask me a string of questions, back my arguments into a corner, then yell, and make me feel like a complete idiot. At the end of the class, he summarized the rules of law and how it applied to the case. My original answers ended up being the correct answers, but whatever; I guess his life isn’t complete unless he makes you believe that you’re incompetent. The experience felt mind numbing but it was finished. I teased my friends, telling them they still had to sit in the “hot seat” but I was DONE, well, at least for a week or two.

Friday I wore a magenta buttoned up blouse. The professor who drilled me on Wednesday performed his usual scan over the class. His eyes once again landed on me and that stupid smirk reappeared. “Ms. Sxxxxxx, let’s just continue with you.” AHHHHHHHHH!!!! We discussed the economic theories on property. At the beginning of class I thought “Ha, I got that, he’s goin’ DOOOWWNNN!!” Ummm…by mid-class, I felt like my undergraduate major had failed me greatly. He kept stating that my definition of unreasonableness would be considered unfair and I would never get away with basing a decision on that definition BUT during his summary at the end, he said that my original answer was correct. Stupid, little man…he makes me angry!!

I was talking to my mom about it and she thinks bright clothing causes me to stand out a bit. On Monday, I am wearing a shirt that matches the color of the chair.





word of the day:
Palliative - (1) adj, moderating pain or sorrow by making it easier to bear (2) noun, remedy that alleviates pain without curing


ghetto word of the day:
Elevision - The act of people in an elevator staring up, uncomfortably, at the numbers as they light up when the car moves. Practiced out of nervousness.
 

April 10th, 2007

two amusing sitings @ 07:47 pm

Current Location: your mom's closet

As I browsed through pictures a friend posted online, I noticed a boy in the pictures with extraordinarily well shaped eyebrows. Even if God bestowed the best eyebrow genes in the universe onto an individual, they would still never reach the shapeliness of this boy’s brows; he must have plucked and/or waxed. It seems like many boys now a-days are spending more time primping themselves and caring about their looks. Personally, I’m all for this newly found passion of theirs but, like every good thing in life, too much can be very, very bad. Let’s take this eyebrow situation for instance. I find it quite acceptable for a boy to pluck and/or wax his eyebrows to rid himself of a uni-brow or a few crazy, unruly hairs. However, when a boy possesses perfectly contoured eyebrows, like the individual in the picture, he must be labeled with a big, fat “OHHH, NO HE DI’INT.” This also goes for manicures/pedicures. Again, I believe in men receiving pedicures and manicures, especially men with gross feet or hands but they should not come out of the salon with a pink flower painted on their big toe!


Last Saturday morning, I was driving down Capital and noticed a set of spinners out of the corner of my eye. I’m a big fan of sparkly, shiny objects, and if they move...it’s just absolutely amazing! When I turned to view this absolutely amazing image, I was caught by surprise. These spinners were attached to one of those brown, square shaped minivans from the early 90’s, with a mom type figure, in a big sweatshirt and hair piled on top of her head, sitting in the driver’s seat. I kept imagining her picking up her kids from soccer practice in that piece of work. I laughed hysterically for the remainder of my drive!

Real Word of the Day: tryst- an appointment (as between lovers) to meet

Ghetto Word of the Day: retox- to start consuming drugs and alcohol again after a hiatus in an effort to avoid the effects of withdrawl.
 

March 1st, 2007

A Haiku Journal @ 05:56 am

Since I am absolutely obsessed with Haikus, I thought I would make one concerning my feelings toward Spring Break:

It's almost Spring Break!
Only a few more days left
Til a week of bliss.

No going to class.
No more Foreign Policy
Where I'm always quizzed.

Although I love Lit...
I am free of Walden's Pond
for one lovely week.

No planning banquets
Or presenting at meetings.
Bye-bye internship!

No replys to emails
Or worrying about law school.
No thinking at all!

None will disappear
And will be waiting for me
Upon my return.

But that's quite alright
Because I'll be well rested
And on the downhill!

I hope everyone has an absoulute fun and crazy Spring Break!



Word of the day: pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (noun) - an obscure term ostensibly referring to a lung disease caused by silica dust, sometimes cited as one of the longest words in the English language

Ghetto Word of the Day: multislacking - Doing multiple slacker-esque things concurrently.
 

You look absolutely fabulous!

Life experiences from a fruitcake